Me with Fey sitting on my shoulder.
Sometimes I want to unfold
The beauty of the world
As if it was the most intricate
Origami flower
That had ever seen the light of day
Then I want to wait
And wait
Until the flower blooms for real
Until its velvet black blossoms
Tinged with purple edges
Grow fuzz that you can run your hand over
And I want to hand it to you
And watch you rub the fuzz
Against your cheek
Against your lips
Against your nose —
The yellow-black stamens tickle
And then fold the flower
Back into paper
And put it in my pocket
For safekeeping
I would make more of them
And write secret notes
That only some people could read
They would say things like:
“The most beautiful things
Are concealed all around you.”
“You are a flower and
This is how you become real.”
“You are unfolding
Just like this.
Don’t hurry,
Don’t wait.”
I would hide them in plain sight
And I would hide them in places
That only the curious and observant
Would bother looking
I would hide them in places
That can only be found
When doing shit work
For 22 cents an hour
I would hide them so that each person
Stood a chance of finding at least one
Just one
That told them what they needed to hear
Right now
Just then
Unfold them, they become real flowers
Fold them, they become folded paper
You can do this as many times as you need
Because they are magic flowers
And if you get good at looking and listening
With more than just your eyes and ears
You will find these creations everywhere
Left by someone
With far more magic
Than I will ever possess
You know when you find one because
Suddenly something ordinary
Becomes extraordinary
Suddenly you’ve been let in on a secret
About something you’d seen before
But never seen before
It can be anything from
A spray of mud on your pants
To a pair of decorated crutches
To a butterfly
It doesn’t have to be pretty on first sight
Many times it isn’t
Many times it seems horrible
Until that flash of inspiration
When it unfolds into a flower in full bloom
And then every texture is like suede
And every color is like the deepest blue before dawn
And every taste is like boiled collards with butter
And every smell is the fur behind a cat’s ears
I wish I had the magic necessary
To make these things myself
To fold reality into paper
And leave it everywhere for people to find
As it is, all I can say is
Someone has already done it
You can find these magic folded papers
On the inside of a zero
In the yawn of a kitten
In a feeding tube
In a wadded up rag
In a tangled old root
In a leaf that skips down the sidewalk
And all of them are flowers
And all of them are there to tell you
There is more in this world than you can ever see
There is more love
There is more light
There is more beauty
And you are part of it
Always
Even
(Especially!)
When everything seems to be
Crashing down around you
Can you accept
This magic spell
This gift
From the world
To me
To you?
Ballastexistenz 