Strange search engine phrases.

Standard

Bev just posted some search engine phrases used to get to her blog. Here’s some of mine.

Lots of people looking for stuff about blowing noses:

can’t blow nose
videos of blowing your nose
blowing noses
nose blowing
loud nose blowing women
do you remember learning to blow your nose
blowing my nose video

The hamster people:

how to make my hamster smile?
can a hamster laugh?
hamster body language
hamster bleeds
sign of a dead hamster

A few people looking for assholes:

assholes who communicate indirectly
autistic assholes

People who really hate Menninger’s:

i hate menninger
fuck menninger

Uh… female exams:

female exam
physical female exam video
fantasy female doctor exam
female fantasy of dotor exam

Who knows:

stratified something
real life pictures of crypto animals
when do octopus sleep?
stop eyeballing me private
pinpong in my mouth

I don’t entirely want to know:

real rape kitchen video
how to write threatening email without being caught
i’m a bad guy and innocent
what are some good probing personal questions
photoes of various illness of ass in females and treatement of ass of females by doctors
women naked sexing men
vomiting dog video
pictures of eyeballs out of there sockets
breast penis size in siblings

(edited to add) And from last month, in no particular order:

children who express the desire to kill their siblings
staring at the bridge of the nose
amazing randi idiot
i have thoughts of killing my kids
dead bunny power tool
purple lips on autistics
what did you have to do to be punished in medieval times
lesbian suffocate her with plastic bag
fat people doing sex
tarred and feathered medieval women withholding
being asked to give head
how to build a phone out of cups
is my hamster dying
i am a nice loving person
more accepted burping
i think spirits are taking my forks and spoons
great people dont do things differently
extreme private self mutilation pics
how can i stand out to people instead of always being the person in the background
hamster is crying
is criticizing partner penis size dangerous for relationship?
how to dispose dead hamster
sordid blanket
can a retard play chess
vomiting dog video

About Mel Baggs

Hufflepuff. Came from the redwoods. Crochet or otherwise create constantly and compulsively. Write poetry and paint when I can. Physically and cognitively disabled. Anything you hear in the media or gossip is likely to be oversimplified at best and wildly inaccurate at worst, the only way to get to know me is to actually know me. I'm not really part of any online faction or another, even ones that claim me as a member. The thing in the world most important to me is having love and compassion for other people, although I don't always measure up to my own standards there by a longshot. And individual specific actions and situations and contexts matter a lot more to me than broadly-spoken abstract words and ideas about a topic. My father died a couple years ago and that has changed my life a lot in ways that are still evolving, but I wear a lot of his clothes and hats every day since he died and have shown no sign of stopping soon.

22 responses »

  1. Good grief! Seems like a search engine gone mad….I have often thought that some who come to this blog get more then they bargained for…It is quite obvious now that the oppisite is just as true…There are those who get a lot less! Just goes to show that you have no idea who all is reading a blog at any given time…

  2. The funny thing with a lot of those phrases (aside from everything else that is funny about this), is that you can tell, for most of them, exactly which word (or words) it was that probably made this blog pop up as a search result.

  3. I thought the setup/delivery of the *post* was funny, and a number of the searches were funny, particularly “fuck menninger”; and now a lot of the random stuff in the edit is funny. But circa the “various illness of ass” I started getting terribly creeped out. And the odd thing is, it wasn’t the kind of search results that person was evidently trying to find that creeped me out so much as the, uh, *syntax* of the search, if that makes any sense.

  4. Got to wonder how the tarred and feathered medieval women and the amazing randi (my hero!) got them to your site…

  5. Some of those are seriously disturbing…

    I’d *really* like to know how searching for “real life pictures of crypto animals” led someone to your blog, however (as cryptozoology is a perseveration of mine, and i didn’t know you had anything to do with it on your site at all)…

  6. “Can a retard play chess” who the crap would type this search phrase.

    I think the real question is “can an NT learn to put quotes on their search phrase”

  7. I laughed until I cried while reading this one (especially the comment, “People who really hate Menninger’s). Then, I started laughing all over again when I read your comment about the spirits and the silverware. Ohhhhh… my sides hurt.

  8. Amanda, I’d send you a couple of sporks if I knew where to send them. :)

    (DH was a little unclear on what was a reasonable number of titanium sporks to buy me for my birthday one year….)

  9. Did you put the new ones up? I tried to come up with random words and see if I could get your blog, never thought of doing that before, I just usually go right to it or do a more logical search. I tried to just pick out words in a random order, so in the last like 12 minutes or so you proably have some more. (I didn’t do anything that was disgusting or hurtful. More just either nonsense or hilarious – like
    autistic hamster thinks fireworks or soemthing like that.

  10. Incidentally, how do you actually find this sort of thing out? I mean, where do you go to find what phrases people have been searching for to get to you?

  11. I must confess, I pick my nose, and even eat the product to this day.

    I may be a booger-eater, but I don’t think I’m a moron.

    Oh! A public safety notice for people who tend to pick noses and also own firearms:

    Keep yer booger hook off of the bang switch!

    (unless you really intend to shoot the thing)

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