A couple new pages here.


A couple new pages here, since my old site I had them on is acting a little weird.

Why It’s So Hard To Write Directly About My Life

Outposts In Our Heads

Keep in mind that my state of mind these days is not like it was when I wrote either of these things. But I still think they’re important things to have written.

About Mel Baggs

Hufflepuff. Came from the redwoods, which tell me who I am and where I belong in the world. I relate to objects as if they are alive, but as things with identities and properties all of their own, not as something human-like. Culturally I'm from a California Okie background. Crochet or otherwise create constantly, write poetry and paint when I can. Proud member of the developmental disability self-advocacy movement. I care a lot more about being a human being than I care about what categories I fit into.

3 responses »

  1. ” have a recurring nightmare. I am in a beautiful building with a hushed, playful atmosphere. I have been there as long as I can remember. Everything I could possibly need is there. There are no locks on the doors. People follow me everywhere, but just out of sight, to give me the illusion of freedom. They want only the best for me. I can go outside and play in the woods, and I climb trees. And they treat me like a child. Everything is controlled perfectly.”

    I’m trying to understand this a little better:
    I understand the physical things and how they can be harmful.
    I also undrestand people doing things they think are helpful that are really hurtful. I also understand people controlling things and making decisions that are truly bad for you (like your example of not giving you your migrane meds on time). I also understand the confusion of people subtly trying to control and how that can almost be harder (like it would seem easier if they overtly did it almost like how a criminal threatening someone – it is easy to recognize although still scary.) But it seems much more confusing when people use subtle methods.
    But, and I think it is just a misunderstanding of the words, it seems like the situation you describe in the nightmare doesn’t include those things? It seems like they were letting you do whatever you want, just watching? Is that the problem, being watched? I’m thinking not and that it is something deeper that I am just not picking up on from the description in words.

  2. I’m not talking about letting me do whatever I’m want, just watching, I’m talking about setting up an environment for me so that it seems like I’m doing whatever I want but I’m really just doing whatever they want.

  3. Oh, okay. I understand the difference (and why it would seem really scary.) I now know what you mean about it being so complicated. I don’t know that most people would even be able to recognize control of that type (setting up the enviromnent so you are thinking you are doing what you want, but really doing what THEY want.) I have never experienced THAT type of control (that I recognize). I have experienced people subtly trying to make me do what they want (but it was circumstances where I really didn’t like it.) I’m not sure I even would recognize this? Maybe it did happen and I just didn’t know about it?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s