Just for reference.


I maintain a blog. I reply on several blogs. I reply on several forums. I belong to several mailing lists. I make videos, which is pretty time-consuming with the equipment I have. I am trying to build a simulation of an institution on Second Life, as well as help maintain the Autistic Liberation Front property over there. I help maintain a website. I am trying to get through a difficult written interview for a research study. I am trying to write something offline (what that is, at any given time, varies). And I have a life offline, not to mention a greater need for both sleep and time doing nothing than most people.

I rotate between which of these things I’m focused on. Sometimes I don’t read mailing lists for months at a time and then pop up on them and post or read a little. Sometimes the same with all the rest of these things. Sometimes I rotate rapidly between two or three things. There is no way I can do all of these things at once. Most people are only exposed to me in a small number of these locations, and many forget (or never notice) the rest of them exist at all.

If you see me inactive, or less active, at any one of these things, don’t read anything more into it than the fact that I am busy. I’m not forgetting people, hating people, afraid of people, or anything else that people read into it. That’s when my absence is actually occurring, and not just people failing to notice that I’m actually there (which happens too, for some reason I can’t figure out). Sometimes the simplest explanation — busyness, and having less energy than most people to begin with — is actually more real than all the weird things people can imagine up.

There’s such a thing as coincidence: The other day, I was very busy at something else, fired off a post or two on one place, did a bunch of other stuff in other places, came back to that place in a day or two without even remembering the posts I’d made, and found that all hell had broken loose in my absence and that topic had been locked. I pretty much ignored it and continued posting there whenever (a) I was capable, (b) I was free, and (c) I was interested in and had something to say about the topics (which was pretty much every day).

Now I’m hearing that some people think I stayed away on purpose (including the day or so I was gone doing other stuff) because of the subject matter. The idea that I do have other things going on in my life doesn’t seem to have been considered as an explanation, but I can assure you it is the only explanation there. There are other times I stay away from places for the same amount of time, for the same reasons, and everything runs smoothly, and people don’t notice that I’m away. A hyper-selective sense of cause and effect is a strange thing.

Other times I really am disinterested. I’ve been skimming a lot of blogs and stuff lately (the last few months) because they just don’t seem all that interesting to me. Not because I dislike the people, just because I can’t get myself interested in whatever they’re saying at that point. I’m assuming they’re interesting to other people. And other times I’ve picked something else up and something ends up shifting. For instance, since recently going back to a forum I’d rarely posted on for awhile, I cut back on a few others. Sometime in the future I have no doubt I’ll be leaving that one alone and going back to the others and doing most of my posting there. I certainly can’t post everywhere at once, or do everything at once.

I even do this with friends, including my closest ones. I keep in contact with one or two and then I can’t keep in contact with others, so I rotate. So, if my friends can deal with it without reading much into it, surely various forums/lists/blogs can. And if anyone thinks staying away from a place for a day, or merely posting less, is a sign of something, they should see all the interesting and pretty even-keel places I only post at once in a blue moon.


About Mel Baggs

Hufflepuff. Came from the redwoods. Crochet or otherwise create constantly and compulsively. Write poetry and paint when I can. Developmentally disabled, physically and cognitively disabled. I'm not really part of any online faction or another, even ones that claim me as a member. The thing in the world most important to me is having love and compassion for other people, although I don't always measure up to my own standards there by a longshot. And individual specific actions and situations and contexts matter a lot more to me than broadly-spoken abstract words and ideas about a topic. My father died in 2014 and that has changed my life a lot in ways that are still evolving, but I wear a lot of his clothes and hats every day since he died and have shown no sign of stopping soon.

10 responses »

  1. Well I am less active in the cyber world because of winteritis and because my studies are taking up a lot of time, considering what I am paying I had better pay attention to them.

    All Hell has broken loose alright, but whether you and I are talking about the same thing is debatable.

    I fell out with DANDA when they started defining neurodiversity in a medical model and at that time wished to exclude “aquired” neurodiversity from the canonical definition.

    I am going to fall out with others over the same point it seems, Neurodiversity is not just another word for Autism, and the moment people start deciding who is in, and who is out, what is in and what is out, then Lenny Schafer wins, because is that not what he does?

    Fortunately whatever the Cabal decides they have lost already as the word is wild in the UK even to the extent of some of its coinages offending the grammarians of the USA who have the temerity to tell us how to use our language considering what they have done to it themselves.

  2. Yeah, different parts of hell breaking loose different places.

    On a discussion list at some point today we were talking about what we thought neurodiversity isn’t. My “isn’t” was something like “Neurodiversity isn’t all about autism, or for that matter all about dividing what sorts of people are fashionable enough to be neurodiverse and what sorts of people are considered too different or defective or damaged or useless to include in that definition.”

  3. It is interesting how some people on forums seem to think that everything in the world revolves around that particular forum; I know that I’ve seen my share of it in my time of participating in various fora.

    Just thought I’d say hi as I’m trying to visit and comment on as many of the NaBloPoMo blogs as I can. :)

  4. Yeah. I’ve seen stuff like this before, and it’s usually from people who all know each other and only go on one or a small number of forums. And thus think anyone on the forums is responding to them and only them.

    Although there’s also just plain insecure individual people I know more personally who wonder why I’m not responding to them, and that one makes more sense to me.

  5. It is odd for admins, for example, to think we worship at the altar of their site. I got locked out of a site the other week, because I hadn’t visited in 7 days. Even I have somewhat of a life, ha.

  6. I do the same thing…..get into something. leave something else behind……..etc etc……..I am even like that with calling people……..alot of time its unintentional but occasionally I will do that on purpose…….like if I know I have studying to do and someone is gonna go blah blah and potentially get me irritated…….I’ll avoid calling that person for a while
    until I have time and energy to deal with potential irritation……..


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