Daily Archives: November 7, 2006

I survived my first female exam ever.

Standard

This may not seem important (and if it’s TMI, skip reading this post), but I’ve been dreading this exam for years. I have a strong aversion to anything being put inside my body, through any orifice at all, that doesn’t belong there. People used to have to get throat cultures off of me by waiting until I started screaming and then swabbing me. Proctologists (and, worse, having impacted stool broken up by hand) were a nightmare. I once threw someone across a room for trying to put a tube up my nose. I have not been looking forward to this, to put it mildly.

My case manager scheduled the exam to be an hour long (longer than usual, because it was my first time there and I’m known to do things like kick people who try to get into various body parts), and to start at 9:20. They were told we’d be a little late because my morning staff is taking a class. We got there at 9:30.

As soon as we walked in the door, the receptionist was sternly telling us we were too late for the appointment and would have to reschedule (this was strange and unusual, because we’d already made clear we’d be late, and so forth). They spent a further ten minutes in some amount of flurry. They talked to my staff, and not me, telling her we had to get out of there and come back another time.

It turned out the person scheduling (probably the woman who was most defensive and hostile to us) appears to have screwed up in a major way. They said we were supposed to be there at 9:10. They further had only scheduled me for 45 minutes, not an hour. And seemed to be implying that we didn’t know what we were talking about when we said 9:20 and an hour.

They wasted a bunch of time on that, and then tried to blame us for the time they lost arguing about that (pretending we only got there after we argued about it, etc). My staff is now very pissed off, because she said she’s never experienced that even when very much more late for these things, and she said she was pretty sure if I wasn’t disabled they’d have made room without a fuss.

The gynecologist herself though was very nice, and totally not bothered by a number of my less pleasant actions (including screaming really loud at the door), nor all that ruffled when I answered a question with something like “Uh, I was in an isolation room, I wasn’t paying attention to my migraine auras at that point in time”. We told her, I’ve been steeling myself for this for weeks and am not going to leave without doing the exam, basically. We told her about the scheduling screwup.

She did work my exam in, in between other patients. She showed me my parts in a mirror, which was kind of strange-looking, and reassured me that they were normal, which I wasn’t too worried about to begin with. I managed not to kick her during the exam (I concentrated all my energy on moving my legs downward, not at her, which got interesting when she then wanted me to “relax my legs”, I was thinking “Are you sure you want me to do that?”). Although my staff said I nearly broke her finger squeezing it. I made a fair bit of noise and flapped a lot but I got through it.

She said nothing seemed at all wrong down there from what she could see. She’s ordering blood tests for a number of things that either run in my family, or I’ve had problems with before (diabetes, anemia, cholesterol, etc). And of course she (like plenty of other people) is interested in re-testing my hormones because of my facial hair. (I know some people online have decided it’s high testosterone — I’ve been tested before, I did not have high testosterone or similar things then, and I’ve had facial hair of one sort or another since I was a kid. Hairiness is one tiny but externally obvious part of a genetic thing I probably have.)

So… I’m through.

That may not seem like a lot, especially to women who’ve had a lot of these before and also had babies and stuff, but it feels like a lot, since it’s new to me, I didn’t kick her (!), and I’ve been dreading this forever. I am now sore in places I was happily unaware I had until now, but it’s over.